slowing to a jog

I haven't even looked to see when I last posted something on this blog.  But yes, I know it's been awhile.  This current stage I find myself in feels like I'm running as fast as I can behind a car that I'm trying to catch and I can never quite get close enough to get in the car.  I rest at the end of each day and then bright and early....it's off to chasing that car again.  But this particular morning I am so grateful to begin with more of a feeling of a jog.  We are in the middle of a two and a half long break from school and the boys are programmed to getting up early.  Unfortunately that doesn't change just because they are on break.  So most mornings, we start out sprinting :)  Finally on day 13 of break they are sleeping in a bit.  woohoo!  I was in great need of a day that I can ease into.  It's amazing what a few moments of uninterrupted quiet can do for a mother's soul.

Baseball season has begun which means I'm seeing a lot of this in my back yard.....

Chase likes to suit up in full uniform even to practice at home :)  love that kid.  

we enjoyed a wonderful Easter Sunday with family and these guys were looking quite handsome

he is ornery.  he is mischievous.  and he gets into a lot of trouble.  even with all that I can honestly say this is one of the best stages ever.  He's talking more and more every day.  He makes me laugh out loud with his attempts to explain things.  I just love him to pieces.  

Motherhood is hard.  There is just no way around it.  I fully understand that my situation, my frustrations and struggles, are that of mothers everywhere.  But I crave peace in the middle of crazy and it's wonderful when I come across things that provide comfort to my tired mommy heart. Things that remind me that I'm not alone in many of the challenges I'm facing with mothering young lives. It's a blog called The Better Mom and it's full of godly women, writing encouragement and truth for all the mommas out there who desire to be better.  To be the very best mom that we can be.  To hold sacred this very special job that God has called us to.  There was a prayer posted a few weeks ago that I just loved and needed to share.  The author wrote it for her daughter, so I did change the "she's" and "her's" ......but it is so good.  A reminder of what really is the desire of my heart as we are raising and instructing these little men.  I pray this for each of my boys.....

As I set out on this journey to guide my son to your love, 

I begin by simply releasing him into your care. 

I surrender my desire to control him 

I surrender my desire to manipulate his future 

I surrender my desire to overprotect, shelter and suffocate him 

I surrender my desire to be his best friend, first

I surrender MY dreams for him 

I surrender my need to be his source

I’m totally open, dependent, and desperate for you to be in control as I let go. 

I’m relying on the fact that you are God, and that you have created my son for Your purpose, 

for this time. 

I pray that You will draw him to yourself 

I pray that he delight in You 

I pray that You be patient with him 

I pray that You provide for him 

I pray that You bless him

I pray that You use him to be a blessing to others 

I pray that You mature him ....and ultimately, 

I pray that he shows Jesus in his very being 

He is Yours.

I trust in Your sovereignty I wait in expectation for Your providence 

He is Yours. 

Amen.